Letters

Dear Oh, For God's Sake,

I read your Essential Jams blogs [Parts 1 and 2] and I didn't see a single thing by Ronan Tynan, Pavarotti, Cecilia Bartoli, or even Russell Watson. And then there was also the absence of Mary Black and Kevin Conneff. I guess the only remedy would be to have Ben enroll in a music appreciation class.

Sincerely,

Mom

Dear Mom,

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Irish tenor.
Irish tenor who?
Irish ten or twelve anvils would fall on that singer's head so he'd quit singing. Just kidding! Thanks for your list. I gave it to your grandson and he was delighted and enchanted and then went into the kitchen, turned on Incubus really loud and made a sandwich.

Rock on,

Oh, For God's Sake

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Dear Oh, For God's Sake,

Better late than never: Here are the Five Essential Albums Ben Should Own, in no particular order:

The Who - Quadrophenia
Drugs, angst, drunk parents, peer pressure, excellent music and Les Tart belly boppin me at Deer Creek. If you put a gun to my head and said what's your favorite album, this is it.

The Beatles - Abbey Road
A little tough love here. Just because the radio or your friends or whatever burned you out on The Beatles doesn't mean your son should be deprived. The second side is the funnest and silliest RnR has to offer.

Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Another fun 60 minutes of music from beginning to end. Reg Dwight is the best pianist in RnR and Ray Cooper is the best percussionist.

Rush - 2112
Oh yeah, 20 years after blowing my tweeters I still can't resist turning the knob up to 10. Attention ALL PLANETS OF THE SOLAR FEDERATION, we have assumed control. Kind of sounds like John Ashcroft.

Crosby Stills Nash and Young - Deja Vu
Sex, drugs, rock and roll, peace, love, NO WAR. Wow, we need that album as much now as in the late 60's. The yang to Quadrophenia's yin.

Also Rans:
Led Zepplin - I, II, IV, XOXO
Moody Blues - Days of Future Past, To our Children's...
Neil Young - After the Gold Rush, Harvest, Comes a Time, Live Rust
John Mellencamp - Scarecrow
Indigo Girls - self titled
Melisa Ethridge - self titled
Dan Fogleberg - Souvenirs, Self titled
Fleetwood Mac - Rumors
Pink Floyd - Dark side of the Moon, The Wall

As a side note, Ben should have a copy of Tchaikovsky - The 1812 Overture, the nearest classical to rock.

Sincerely,

Ponger

Dear Ponger,

OK, OK, the Beatles were great (though I think we can all agree they were no Golden Earring). And I'll thank you not to bring up that belly incident from The Who concert again. This is a family blog. Thanks for your list. [The Melissa Ethridge and Indigo Girls albums came after the 1986 deadline, but we're nothing if not lenient here at OFGS.]

Sincerely,

Oh, For God's Sake

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Dear Oh, For God's Sake,

Greetings from inside the beltway. Sorry I'm late but this is the product of six co-workers:

Paul D – short and to the point:

Pet Sounds
The Wall
Who's Next
Aja
KC & the Sunshine Band's Greatest Hits

Brett, resident cynic, Clash aficionado, and smokin’ geetar player:

Here's what I fornicated drunkenly to (I left Prince out):
The Clash - The Clash
Quadrophenia - The Who
Essential - Bob Dylan
Fillmore East - Allman Brothers Band
Are You Experienced - Jimi Hendrix

If I make it to grad school:
Shakti - John McLaughlin
Trout Mask Replica - Captain Beefheart
Blue - Joni Mitchell
Koln - Keith Jarrett
Kind of Blue - Miles Davis

Autumn:

Queen: Live Magic
Fleetwood Mac: Rumours
Aerosmith: Permanent Vacation*
Def Leppard: Hysteria (hey, you didn't say that I couldn't have Def Leppard on my list)*
The Doors: The Doors

*Technically, these didn't come out until 1987, but I think they're important enough to include anyway.

Josh – Shelbyville resident, Iowan by birth, and the friendliest black-belt wearing Irish redhead I know:

Couldn't stick to 5. And I don't think you can represent the artists with just one album. But if you have to pick go with the (*)s

The Who - Quadrophenia* or Kids are Alright
The Rolling Stones - Forty Licks or Sticky Fingers*
Led Zeppelin - How the West was Won* [even though it was a recent release, it's from a pinnacle concert series] or Led Zeppelin (II or IV)
Jimi Hendrix - Are You Experienced
Bob Marley - Legend
Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde or The times they are a changin'*
Neil Young - Decade
The Velvet Underground - Loaded
Joni Mitchell - Blue
Greatful Dead - American Beauty* or Terrapin Station
The Doors - The Doors
Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge over Troubled Water

John – music critic and critically acclaimed senior Help writer:

Okay, so obviously I am arriving late to the game. And, a lot of you have mentioned a lot of albums that I would also put on my list as essential listening. In an effort to avoid duplication, I am only going to mention albums no one else has mentioned, or different albums by some of the same artists that have been mentioned. And, I can't limit it to five no matter how hard I try.

Parliament: First Thangs
Neil Young: Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere
Iggy and the Stooges: Fun House, Raw Power
Sly and the Family Stone: Greatest Hits
Frank Zappa: Hot Rats
Led Zeppelin: Physical Graffiti
Birds: Live at the Filmore East 1969
R.E.M: Life's Rich Pageant
Nick Drake: Pink Moon
U2: Joshua Tree (recorded in 1986, perhaps released in 1987)
Fairport Convention: Liege and Lief
Bob Dylan: Highway 61 Revisited, Rolling Thunder Revue 1975 (live)
Pink Floyd: Meddle, Dark Side (the only reason anyone dislikes this record is because they've heard it too much; I know 'cause I used to be one of them)
Flying Burrito Brothers: Gilded Palace of Sin

I'm forgetting a million other things...

And finally, my list. I had a terrible time narrowing it down, but what can you do with only 5 choices:

David Bowie - Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars
Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground & Nico
Neil Young - Harvest
Bob Dylan - Desire
Pink Floyd - Animals

Honorable mentions:

John Lennon - Imagine
The Kinks - The Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society
Led Zeppelin - Four or Physical Graffiti
Joni Mitchell - Blue
The Who - Who's Next?
The Clash - London Calling
Talking Heads - Talking Heads
Television - Marqee Moon
Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Self-titled
David Bowie - Hunky Dory
The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
Rolling Stones - Exile on Main Street
Paul McCartney & Wings - Band on the Run
Bob Marley - Songs of Freedom Box Set - Not released before '86, but all of the songs included were pre-'86, and this is the definitive Marley collection.
U2 - War
R.E.M. - Murmur
The Grateful Dead - American Beauty
Pink Floyd - Shine On Box Set – again, not a pre-’86 release, but all albums included fit the criteria.
Tom Waits – Closing Time, Swordfishtrombones

And, as an added bonus for being so late in delivering this fine mess of artists, here's a link to a scrumptious list of the Top 100 Albums of the 1970s by Pitchfork Media, a leading online reference for what’s “hip” in an uber-hip world.

Sincerely,

Mark H.

Dear Mark,

Great stuff in there, especially KC & the Sunshine Band. Can somebody over there please slap Paul D for me? Please tell all the Apparitions OFGS says "hey." Steve Inskeep, too.

Sincerely,

Oh, For God's Sake

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Dear Oh, For God's Sake,

Ben owes us one. I think he should suggest some music that the kids are listening to.

Cheers,

Scott

Dear Scott,

Great idea! No reason he shouldn't anguish over this like we did. Ben and his pals Tyler, Coleman, Wes and Jordan came up with this list for you:

Ben Harper - Live From Mars
Jack Johnson - On and On
Tenacious D - Tenacious D
Dashboard Confessional - Places You Have Come to Fear the Most
Dave Matthews Band - Any Live CD Will Do (Chicago and New York are my two favs)
Nirvana - Unplugged in New York
Nirvana - Never Mind
Pearl Jam - Ten (Pretty much anything from the Grunge era: Stone Temple Pilots, Alice in Chains, Jane’s Addiction, Sound Garden, Smashing Pumpkins, Mud Honey)
Sublime - 40 oz to Freedom
Sublime - Sublime
My Morning Jacket - It Still Moves
Incubus - Morning View
Rage Against the Machine - Evil Empire
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Greatest Hits
Dr. Dre - Still D.R.E.
Death Row - Greatest hits (old Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, Dre, Easy E and 2pac)
Elton John - Honky Chateau
Joss Stone - Soul Sessions
Ben Kweller - Sha Sha
Something Corporate - Leaving Through a Window

Sincerely,

Ben for Oh, For God's Sake

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Dear Oh, For God's Sake,

Regarding At, Not With: I love those Southeast Christians who display bumper stickers with slogans like "Proud To Be An American" and "Proud To Be The Heterosexual Parent Of A Heterosexual Honor Student." Isn't Pride still one of the seven deadlies, or has Peter Drucker redacted their edition of the bible? And isn't "In Case Of Rapture This Car Will Be Unmanned" pretty damned prideful, too?

--Zan

Dear Zan,

I contacted Southeast Christian Church and here's how it works: Once the God Dome processes your American Express card, you are instantly eligible to opt out of Christianity's sins on a sliding scale (peccadilloes are on special this month!), while continuing to hold non-Southeast Christians accountable via bumper stickers, newspaper racks, browbeating, coercion, and eternal lakes of hellfire. Similarly, with your paid membership, you are fully excused from such Christian hassles as being free from sin before casting the first stone, doing unto others as they would do unto you and loving your enemies. Killing is still discouraged, but allowable under certain sociopolitical conditions, such as fear of the unfamiliar or race-, gender-, sexual-orientation- or faith-related indignation. See church for details. Piety sold separately

Drucker has indeed made some edits to the God Dome bible. Instead of Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth, their official Deadlies include Pacifism, Taxes, Regulation, Homosexuality, Multilateralism, Inclusiveness, and Gun Control.

(For you out-of-towners who are interested in getting in on this action, Southeast Christian Arena is located in Louisville, just off I-64. Hang a left at the large statue of a needle with the neon camel passing through its eye. Known affectionately as LordMart, The God Dome, or Six Flags Over Jesus, it is also the site of the annual UK/U of L basketball game.)

Sincerely, Oh, For God's Sake

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Dear Oh, For God's Sake,

Is this unintentionally funny? According to "Reaching For Glory," Lyndon Johnson's secret White House tapes, edited by Michael Beschloss, Lady Bird Johnson called Jackie Kennedy on Christmas 1963 and said, among other things, "I hope your children are gay."

Sincerely,

JoAnne

Dear JoAnne,

Yes. It would have been even funnier if Jackie Kennedy had replied, "What a queer thing to say."

Sincerely,

Oh, For God's Sake

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Dear Oh, For God's Sake,

How about this line from Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice?"

"From the farther disadvantage of Lydia's society she was of course carefully kept, and though Mrs. Wickham frequently invited her to come and stay with her, with the promise of balls and young men, her father would never consent to her going."

Sincerely,

Sandy

Dear Sandy,

Yes. Just about any sentence that includes "with the promise of balls" has a good chance at being funny.

Sincerely,

Oh, For God's Sake

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Dear Oh, For God's Sake,

You didn't contact us! We're not even writing now!

Sincerely,

Southeast Christian Church

P. S. Golden Earring rocks!

Dear Six Flags Over Jesus,

Oops. Busted.

Sincerely,

Oh, For God's Sake

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Dear Oh, For God's Sake,

Nobody Died when Oh, For God's Sake Lied!

Sincerely,

Rusty

Dear Rusty,

Now, now. Let he who is without sin cast the... oh, wait. Are you all paid up at the God Dome? Oh, never mind...

Sincerely,

Oh, For God's Sake

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