Antique war weapons
OK, this is the last thing I'm going to say about Thunder Over Kablewy-ville until next April. I promise.

I was writing a tasteless parody of war re-enactments when I realized that our society is so speeded up now that we actually re-enact wars while we're waging them. Every year, there's a Revolutionary War re-enactment at Locust Grove and a Civil War re-enactment at Perryville. Fine. I love history. And if we can learn from history while also giving chubby, bald, lonely men something to do on the weekends besides watch NASCAR, why the hell not?

So I was thinking Ka-Thunder Over Kablammyville is a re-enactment of Baghdad today, while it's still happening. But really, it isn't. It's a re-enactment of the Shock and Awe of 2003. You know, "Mission Accomplished," and all that shit. (For a re-enactment of Baghdad today, see Tech, Virginia.) So, really, not only is Thunder a tacky, diabolical display of war weaponry, it's a tacky, diabolical display of war weapons that no longer work.

So, look up in the sky in wonderment tomorrow, Louisvillians. Admire the billions you spent to enjoy a re-enactment of a an ongoing failure of antique war weapons. Maybe in a few years, we'll have body armor flying over Louisville to kick off the Derby festival.