Wednesday, April 04, 2007

National Poetry Month
April is National Poetry Month (Is it just me, or did Blood Donor, Black History, and Fire All The Prosecutors And Lie About It months just FLY by?), so I thought I'd share a couple of my poems:

Ahem, excuse me, buddy?
While on the moving
please stand to the right
to allow those
wishing to walk
to pass safely on the left.

OK, OK, I'm just warming up.

Brady Bunch, The Lost Season

Greg gets Marcia pregnant, takes job at Sam's butcher shop to pay for the abortion.
Carol drinks too much scotch, hits on Alice, passes out.

Bobby watches Jan take a shower, gets stern lecture from Mike.
Peter sprouts a pubic hair, gets special celebration dinner from Alice.

In order to become more popular, Marcia tries cocaine but it only makes her nose bleed.
Cindy tries to pee standing up.

Greg sells pot out of his attic bedroom, narrowly avoids bust when cops bring Jan home after shoplifting arrest.
Carol accidentally bites down on Mike's penis during minor California earthquake.

Cindy walks in on Mike trying on Marcia's underpants.
Alice bakes a pornographic cake.

Peter is plagued by spontaneous erections. Alice prepares a celebratory dinner.
Jan experiments with homosexuality.

Sam locks Carol in meat locker, tries to take off her pantsuit.
Bobby and Cindy take up smoking.

Alice masturbates with a summer sausage in Sam's store. Sam refuses to refund money to customer who buys it.
Peter robs liquor store, gets stern lecture from Mike.

Jan eats hash brownies, hurts Peter's feelings by laughing while he's feeling her up.
Marcia takes off her top at a Monkees concert.

To make ends meet, Mike pimps Carol and the girls.
Peter discovers that he's limber enough to suck himself off.

OK, sorry. I guess it's pretty obvious poetry should be left to the masters. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and start celebrating with these talented Kentucky poets:

Erin Keene

Lynell Edwards

Frank X Walker

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