What to say when a nun interrupts your drunken childhood mischief
On the Fourth of July, The Catholic church down the street programmed its bells to play patriotic music, including, bizarrely, "The Halls of Montezuma" (with its earworm "First to fight for right and freedom and to keep our honor clean; we are proud to claim the title of United States Marine") and "The Caissons go rolling along." We kind of expected the music to stop when the "farworks" did, but it's still going strong. (Maybe somebody needs to reboot the bell's computer - or boot the music director.) Why the church is blasting church-bell military songs during a failed religious war for oil is a creepy topic for another day but what's cracking me up today is a childhood lyric I can't get out of my head. To the tune of "Caissons:"

We are strong, we are bold
From the liquor that we hold
In the cellars of St. Mary's school.
Run, run, run
I think I smell a nun,
Pick up your liquor and run!
If a nun should appear,
say "Sister, have a beer
from the cellars of St. Mary's School"