Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Holy Rat Snackers
When KFC launched its new Catholic Snacker Lenten fish sandwich recently, its PR team audaciously asked Pope Benedict XVI for his endorsement. The company had the chutzpah to ask the pontiff for a papal blessing, claiming, "the new sandwich could make it easier and more affordable for Catholics to observe the tenets of their faith." Never mind that the point of avoiding meat during Lent is to sacrifice in order to identify with Jesus' suffering, not to cram little fried squares of processed pollock down one's piehole. Meanwhile, KFC probably hopes the Vatican's Internet connection was down last week because YouTube was busting at the seams with video clips of a rat-infested KFC/Taco Bell store in New York City. The video showed morbidly obese trans-rats crawling all over the closed store's furniture, counters, and floors, snacking on extra crispy droppings left behind by customers and employees, to the delight of NYC TV news anchors. Shocked! Those anchors were shocked! Perhaps they shouldn't be too quick to judge, though. After all, KFC was using a slow-acting poison on those rats: its menu items.