Celine Dion outsucks rivals
The results of the recent OFGS reader poll are in. The poll asked, "If Las Vegas replaced all its lights with compact fluorescent bulbs, who would suck the most?" A whopping 50% of readers agreed that Celine Dion would suck the most. Here's the breakdown:

Celine Dion 50%
Barry Manilow: 11%
Carrot Top: 11%
Blue Man Group: 11%
Chippendales: 6%
David Copperfield 0%

One reader voted for "The Hoff" and one said "either Wayne Newton or Dick Cheney." Thanks to you all for voting. By blowing away such a prestigious field of competitors, Celine Dion's monumental suckitude is clearly a force of wonderment and awe. And now, a new poll:

Which is more likely, that everything in the world evolved randomly from nothingness, that Turtle Mother carried the world out of nothingness on her back, that an omniscient, omnipotent god appeared randomly from nothingness and created everything, or that a great feathered bird crapped everything into existence after getting ahold of some crazy mushrooms?